Four Seasons
by Polychromasia
Summary: "How could you? You promised!" He ran a large hand over his face frustratedly, murmuring words that I can't decipher. I was going to be the next Leah in just a few seconds, I can feel it."I know. But I can't. I just can't" He tucked a curl behind my ear. "Don't leave me, Embry. Please" I pathetically pleaded him, trying to make him understand. "I saw her Morgana. I really saw her"


**Author Note: Hello guys! As you can see, I am a very **_**very **_**new author here in and this, truthfully, is only my second story in fanfiction. And that story isn't even finished! Even though I'm new, I would try my **hardest, **my best, to publish the best story I can do in this forum.**

**So that's why, please **please** please give this story a chance! Review, Favorite and Follow this story if you like it and would like to hear more! I sure say a lot of pleases huh? :/ ;p **

And please, I beg you, check out my other story that is called 'Timeless' It is an JacobXOCXAlec fic. Review and tell me who you wanted her to end up with since I haven't really decided my self. They're both just so hot y'know! ;)

**And about the song, I never actually put a song in any of my chapters since I prefer quotes after songs but this one is special. I just personally think that if you listen to this song while reading this chapter you will feel as though you're really Morgana in this story. Or maybe it is just me, so I'll shut up now.**

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**If I get 5 reviews or more *****hint hint***** and at least 3 follows, I would then immediately update the next chapter! **

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except the plot, Morgana, her friends, family and anything that you didn't recognize from Twilight. Though I definitely wish to be able to own Jacob! Damn you life! **

**Now without further a do, I present you the story!**

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_**Four Seasons**_

Two Is Better Than One – Boys Like Girls feat Taylor Swift

I remember what you wore on our first day  
You came into my life  
And I thought hey  
You know this could be something  
'Cause everything you do and words you say  
You know that it all takes my breath away  
And now I'm left with nothing

So maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
And maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

I remember every look upon your face,  
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste  
You make it hard for breathing  
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away  
I think of you and everything's okay  
And finally now, believing

And maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Well maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking two, is better than one

Yeah, yeah

I remember what you wore on our first day  
You came into my life  
And I thought hey

Maybe it's true, that I can't live without you  
Maybe two is better than one  
But there's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And you've already got me coming undone  
And I'm thinking

Oooh I can't live without you  
'Cause baby two is better than one  
There's so much time, to figure out the rest of my life  
And I've figured out with all that's said and done

Two is better than one

Two is better than one

_**Preface**_

A wind has blown the rain away and blown the sky away and all the leaves away, and the trees stand. I think, I too, have known autumn too long. - E. E Cummings

I should've known that this would happen. How could I not? When it has been so clear, since the very beginning, that he was never meant for me. Never _**made**_ for me. _**Never. **_

He chose _**her.**_ He chose her over me. He chose to left _**me,**_ albeit unwillingly. He _**chose**_ to hurt me. He _**knew**_ that he's not meant for me. _**He knew! **_And yet he didn't stop this from happening, this inevitable occurrence.

I had always have my doubts about our relationship when he had told me the validity of his 'condition' but it was so easy to forget about it back then. When he was so funny and charming. When he can always make me laugh, when he can always make me forget.

The bitter truth is -the undeniable fact- that he, my Embry, was destined for someone else. Always has and always will ever since the moment he had completed his 'phase'.

The moment where he had lost his _**humanity.**_

Though through out of it all, if he ever came towards me now and begged me on his hands and knees, groveling for my forgiveness, I would've surely taken him back in a heartbeat. _**Pathetic,**_ has this what had really became of Morgana Le Fay?

Maybe it's not entirely his fault, if I looked at it in an utterly nonbiased perspective, I knew at the very beginning of the consequences that will arise with us being together.

When we defied fate and thwarted destiny. Now I understand, that no matter how hard I tried, _**we**_ tried, I will eventually lose from the choking hands of fate.

But we had been so in love back then, I still _**am**_ in love. Even if he no longer loves back.

He's still _**my **_Embry to me, the boy that uses to steal rogue kisses from my lips, the boy that uses to nuzzle my neck and tells me how much he loves me, the boy that had gotten _**me,**_ Ms. Responsible and Sophisticated, kicked out of a department store for the first time ever.

It was humiliating but as I look upon it back now, I regretted nothing.

The boy, that just until 2 days ago, I believed to be destined for me, no matter what fate had decided to do. But at the end we still lost._** I**_ lost.

He, in the other hand, doesn't seem to really mind losing me much, looking at the fact of how fast he had ordained to leave me so he can pursue his next dream of playing the role of a knight in a shining armor to some redneck.

_**Embry. **_Fresh tears prickled inside my tear ducts, threating to fall over my eyes and unto my cheeks as I thought his name. I wiped my mascara-stained cheeks vigorously, trying to be rid of the ugly black blotches that seemed to stick on my cheeks like a second skin.

He had treated me like some unwanted rag doll, quickly abandoning me and everything we had, for a girl he just met. A girl he barely knew. A girl that was specifically designed for him by fate.

Worse of all, not even a day afterwards he had handed me over to his pack 'brother' like some unwanted rag doll, claiming that he was in fact was the one really meant for me all along.

When in fact the boy, Jacob, who was _**said**_ to be meant for me, didn't even want me at the first place. They think I'm stupid, that they can just easily fool me to believe that Jacob loves me, when in fact I know whom he really wanted.

He wanted her. That really pale girl from Forks whose name is Betty or something. The Police Chief's daughter; Bella. The damned leech lover.

A string of profanities escaped my mouth before I grabbed the neglected bottle of beer lying next to me, which I shamefully stole from if I must added, and proceeded to chugged it down in one big gulp, trying to warm my slowly numbing chest.

I'm going to be the next Leah, am I? Forever bitter to the man she loves most; she can't even look at him in the eye now for more than a couple of seconds before looking away.

It seems like La Push had yet again redeemed itself with its newest bitch candidate.

Well, if I am going to end up just like _**Leah, **_minus the werewolf part of course, I guess she won't mind me stealing her alcohol then. We _**are**_ going to be the 'Imprinted Junk' together now.

Maybe we could even make a new club together by the name of it. 'Imprinted Junk.' Yes, that's what we are now, nothing but some stupid leftovers. Unwanted. Alone. Abandoned.

I took another big gulp of alcohol again, its effect immediately burning my throat. A result that I, somehow, can't help but be apprehensive about.

_**But it hurts, **_I childishly whined, slapping a small hand to my chest as if trying to hit the pain away.

I guess this is still better than feeling nothing. Feeling pain meant that I'm still alive. There is large gaping hole in my chest, that I am afraid would never heal.

All things heal over time but now it is not a time to heal, it is a time for grievance.

I need to be able to grieve, to accept, and to understand that I had truly lost him.

I feel dead. I feel no life within me. Not even the slightest sliver of happiness is there. But I am still alive aren't I? _**Even after it all,**_ I shook my head bitterly.

What does alive meant if I couldn't be with him? What does alive meant if I have to watch him be with another girl? Hug another girl? Kiss another girl?

Oh, God! I think I'm going to be sick!

The thought of him loving another girl is enough force to make me physically sick that I pathetically hurled at the middle of a godforsaken bridge. A _**fucking**_ bridge! Unbelievable!

I puked out my entire lunch out; choking, and coughing as I further heaved.

God, I'm disgusting.

A sharp screamed suddenly pierced the chilly air. It sounded so sad and desperate that I cant help but winced.

Out of a sudden people were starting to give me strange looks. Turning to stare at me as if I'd lost my mind. One of them was even rude enough to mutter 'Drunkards these days' loudly at my direction.

It then hits me with an alarming intensity that I was the one that screamed. No wonder they thought me insane. I _**am**_ crazy.

A cynical laugh escaped my throat. _**Great, just great! **_ This is what had become of Morgana Le Fay, Harvard's best student, due to start next fall. It comes across that even twenty straight A's still couldn't mend an undeniably rotten luck.

Now look at me. Crying pitifully at the side of a _**damn**_ bridge. Sitting down on the road like a homeless person with any meanings of an end.

The water underneath me looked cold. Freezing. I wonder what it would feel like to just jump down? Would I feel numb? Or pain perhaps? The pricking of a thousand sharp needles of water? From above, the water looked dark, black. I can't even see how deep the water will go.

I held the railings of the bridge with clenched hands, fingers numb to the December weather of Seattle.

_**Jump, **_a psychotic voice in my head whispered. _**Do it!**_ It further enunciates its point.

_**No one will misses you anyway,**_ it taunted maliciously.

But there _**will **_be someone who misses me. The same person who the elders and everyone says was actually 'meant' for me. The person that I could have bet the credibility of all of my astute scholar degrees in 'America's School For The Gifted' had been frantically searching for me all night long. The same person who would've snapped and gone ballistic if he knew what I was about to do.

_**Oh, Embry.**_

You tell me that you were not who I really wanted but how do you know that? You're not me; you don't know how I feel.

_**One foot at a time, **_my subconscious guided me as I placed one foot over the railing.

The bridge had gone entirely empty, so unlike the bustling road that it had been not just an hour ago.

_**Good, no one will notice me if I jump now.**_ Another foot was over the railing now that I was entirely standing on my own on the thin cement protecting the edges of the bridge.

I sat on the railings dangerously, letting my self to enjoy the magnificent view of nature for a while before I jumped. A cool breeze wafted past my hair, instantaneously chilling the hair behind my neck.

_**Maybe a cigarette will help,**_ I thought as I took out a pack, picked one, and light up the end of the stick with clumsy fingers, pressing it upon my open mouth.

I puffed out warm airs of tobacco, appreciatively feeling the smoke's calming effect settling into my system.

All of a sudden I felt something light and ticklish fall upon my face, opening my apple green eyes, I was taken to the sight of small leaflet.

It sways beautifully in the air, the first of many others that would soon follow its path.

I looked around and smiled when I saw the entire bridge covered sparsely by these leaves making it look like a sea of auburn fire.

_**Autumn, **_I thought.

The aesthetic golden-brown leaf rolled off my face, causing my hands to instinctively shoot out to catch it in my grasp. The honeyed bract glowed exuberantly in my small palm. The sunlight, making it shines, as if it too was a part of the star.

I let out my other hand, that was holding the railing, to hold on the miniscule leaf, threading my fingers on each translucent fiber.

My body suddenly jerked unsteadily in the air, swaying haphazardly as I lost my final footing on the uneven ground. My body fell slowly towards the clandestine surface of the lake, like the scene of some old black and white movie.

The whole world seemed to stop. Just me, alone, falling and falling and falling.

"_**NO!" **_I heard a guttural cry being yelled just moments away before my skin was pierced by a thousand razor sharp needles that immediately numbs of all my nerves, making me unable to feel anything except the burning sensation in my lungs.

My hands flailed around, a natural human instinct to survive, but the tides were too hard. Gradually pulling me further and further away.

I soon gave up, tired of my naught effort. Maybe I didn't try hard enough or maybe I just didn't want to.

The water feels welcoming towards my exhausted form as if it promises me to sweep away all of my pain. Giving me the ethereal gift of just disappearing.

I feel warm. So so warm. And sleepy too. I smiled dreamily at the thought of a long nap and promptly closed my eyes to sleep, not hearing the loud splash that soon followed my fall.

Everything rapidly grew darker and darker in my mind. Making it easier for me to fall into a peaceful slumber.

_**Autumn wins you best by its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay - Robert Brown.**_

_**Its mute appeal to sympathy for its decay**_.

_**To sympathy to its decay.**_

That was the last coherent thought that flitted through my mind before everything shifted into nothing.

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**- Much love, FairyNightSong**


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